Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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