I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
