i don't like sucking hair
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
