Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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