I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just want to make out with him forever
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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