another moral hangover. fuck.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
