I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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