You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
