I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
kristin has been a bad kristin
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
