isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
