My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
