if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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