If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
This couple is walking their pig around campus
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
