make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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