he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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