ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
