he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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