Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
