Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize