@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
