Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
