C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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