That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize