If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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