I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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