I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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