I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
