So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
