Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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