I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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