1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize