Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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