Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
