Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
