Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize