You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
