Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
