I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
