Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize