i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
