You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I need moral support for this bender
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
