she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
