When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
