apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
