I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
