p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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