Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
