hotel room ftw
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Dicks are not precious.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
