Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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