there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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