You just made me feel so damn special
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
