I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
This toilet bowl is my home.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
