Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
