proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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