I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
