my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
