he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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