it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Randomize
