the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
