trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize