I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
