By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
