I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
