I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
