Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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