Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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